So this post is kind of hard for me. Some of you might know I'm working on a recovery book project (the site for that is http://www.realfemalesunite.com), WHILE I recover myself. Obviously it isn't easy, but I know that now is one of the times I'm going to be most aware of what kinds of things will be helpful for others who are going through some of the things I'm going through.

The thing is, even though I'm working on this book and even though my loved ones see me as a very strong, independent person usually--even I need a whole LOT of support. Some of the people around me haven't been able to give me the kind of help that I've needed, and so I've tried really hard to go about my recovery pretty much alone. It hasn't worked. Even though I've been making a lot of progress both mentally and physically, I need more support that I've had. And I'm finally, FINALLY taking the steps I need to take to give myself that kind of support.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you're trying to get better, don't be afraid to reach out to the people around you. Find those people who will support you without making you feel weird or crazy--because you're NOT. You might even be surprised about who will be most helpful to you once you start thinking about it a little more. The important thing is to just surround yourself with people who will help you understand that even though you're very vulnerable and hurting right now, there is nothing WRONG with you, and that you are perfectly capable of working out some of your issues and having a better life. You have an eating disorder--but it's NOT your life.

Find the support that will truly support you. Know that you are not alone. Know that you have an enormous amount of potential, and that you are going to accomplish amazing and wonderful things as you begin to create that healthier life for yourself!

May all your dreams and wishes come true,

Justine
Recovery Book Site: http://www.realfemalesunite.com
Recovery Support Board: http://www.realfemales.proboards54.com

When you're struggling with a bout of insomnia, what's going through your mind? Are there a whole bunch of thoughts about things you need to do tomorrow? Are you feeling bad about something that happened during the day? Are you just worried about EVERYTHING in general?

The next time you're having trouble falling asleep, just try to think about some of the positive things that are going on in your life (I know, that can be a little tough when you've been having a few bad days!). What are some little goals you've accomplished that you can be proud of? What do you have to be thankful for, no matter how small it might seem? What kinds of things do you have to look forward to as long as you can just keep following your new, healthier path? Who are the people in your life you're thankful for?

Remember that worrying about things now will not help you accomplish anything. You'll be best able to deal with your problems after a good night's rest.

Put on some soft music for awhile and conjure up some images of old favorite memories. Think about the things that really make you happy--even if you don't have all of them right now. And make sure to keep taking deep, slow breaths and concentrating on relaxing every single little muscle in your body.

As long as you just keep reminding yourself of the GOOD stuff instead of the bad, it shouldn't be too long before you find yourself starting to relax!

Sleep well and may all your dreams and wishes come true!

Justine
http://www.realfemalesunite.com
http://www.realfemales.proboards54.com

Just something I've been thinking about and would love to get other perspectives on:

I've been going through some really really tough stuff in my personal life lately...recovery-wise I've been doing fine, it's not like I've had trouble with triggers or anything like that for a long time. But I've had some trouble actually putting forth a FULL effort all the time, just because there's so much instability in some of the areas of my life right now.

Here's my question: I know that bad experiences can sometimes be the CAUSE of our disordered behaviors and negative thoughts BUT--do you think it's also true that sometimes it's in our WORST times that we really HAVE to make some of the changes we need to make? It seems that way for me sometimes...like sometimes I just get too "comfortable" being "partially" recovered, instead of just actually taking some of those steps that just seem a little too scary sometimes (like eating EVERYTHING on your meal plan, not working out more than you know you should, etc.)...

It just seems like sometimes, I really need a kick in the butt--even if it's some really tough kind of challenge--to get me into gear...have any of you guys had experiences like that?

My website/book project: http://www.realfemalesunite.com
Recovery support board: http://www.realfemales.proboards54.com

If you're serious about getting better, you already know that you're going to need a lot of different people supporting you. The first two types are obvious enough: you need a professional team who knows what they're doing and who can help point you in the right direction and make sure you're as healthy as possible along the way. You also need your friends and family to be there with you the whole time, to be your cheerleaders and to maybe just hold your hand or give you a big hug every once in awhile.

But if you really want to help yourself, there's another connection you need to make: you need to reach out to other people in recovery, who are going through the very same things you are. Because as close as you are to some of your friends and family members, and as much as you love them, there are just certain things that they are not going to understand. You need to have people you can talk to who really can relate to everything you're going through, and who may be able to offer you some great advice based on their own experiences. These people will help you remember that you're not crazy just because you have trouble eating like other people. They'll understand how hard it is to let go of some of your old habits, no matter how ridiculous they might seem to anyone else. And they'll probably be really great friends for a long time to come, too!

If you haven't already, take a minute to introduce yourself on my recovery support forum and start making some new connections!

Please feel free to comment on any other forms of support that have been helpful to you throughout your recovery, too--your insight might just be that one little bit of advice that someone else needs to hear!

http://www.realfemalesunite.com
http://www.realfemales.proboards54.com

One of the biggest reasons we struggle sometimes is because we just have such a hard time loving--or even accepting--ourselves. That really hit me a couple of days ago, when I was home for Mother's Day and watching old videos of myself and my family from back when I was about two years old. I saw the little girl in the video, such a sweet, hopeful-looking girl...and then I started to think about all of the difficult things I knew she'd have to go through later on in her life...I started to think even more how awful I've been to myself in the past, not allowing myself to rest when I needed a break, or not allowing myself to eat sometimes, or just not allowing myself to BE myself because I didn't think it was "good enough."

When you start to feel bad about yourself, get out some of those old photos of yourself and take a closer look at them: if you were that child's parent, would you want them to be suffering the way you're now suffering sometimes? Wouldn't you want to do everything you could to take care of them, and to show them that there are things in this life that really ARE enjoyable and even spectacular?

Keep one of your favorite photos with you, and look at it whenever you're having a difficult moment or just feeling a little bad about yourself. Remember that you CAN turn things around for yourself. You CAN start to feel better about yourself. You just have to accept that sweet, wonderful person that you've been ignoring for a really long time.

Do something good for yourself today--spend some time reading a book just for fun, or take a walk around the park after work. Let yourself "play" for a little bit without feeling guilty, by getting out a big fat coloring book or a bright little tub of play-dough. Stop by my message board and chat for awhile, too.

You deserve to have fun. You deserve to take care of yourself. And you deserve to feel good about doing it, too!

May all your dreams and wishes come true,

Justine

http://www.realfemalesunite.com
http://www.realfemales.proboards54.com

Hey Everyone!

I just got a message from Theresa Magelky, a doctoral student who is working on a body image and eating habits research study through the University of North Dakota. The study is for women involved in college classes, and will only take about 30-45 minutes of your time. It's completely anonymous, and the neat part is that you'll also have the chance to win one of two $50 Amazon.com gift certificates--something I would completely be all over if I was still on college (I swear I can't go on that website and NOT find something I want)!!

Visit http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=2BN387zM08_2f3ukJwqcShZg_3d_3d for all of the info--and if you have any other questions, Theresa said you could e-mail her at theresa.magelky@und.nodak.edu.

Don't miss out!

May all your dreams and wishes come true,

Justine

Hey everyone!

So I've been working really hard to change my website a little to reflect a little more what I'd really like this whole project to do: to bring more of us with disordered eating and image issues together. I want more of us to realize that we aren't alone in any of our "stupid" little worries or problems, and that we don't have to be too ashamed to talk about them anymore.

I want more of us to come forward, be honest about what we're going through, and figure out what we can do to finally help ourselves live happier, better lives. I don't think that's too much to ask. I think we're all capable of living those lives. And I think we all deserve to stop feeling so terrible about some of the things we've gone through!

Check out the new www.RealFemalesUnite.com. Spread the word about the website, as well as this blog and the message board at www.realfemales.proboards54.com. Remember that I can't do it without YOU!

It's time to start living that life you've always wanted--TODAY!!!

May all your dreams and wishes come true,

Justine

I just saw this video from Newsweek. And since a good old reminder of how FAKE all those stupid glitzy magazine photos never hurts--check it out!

http://www.newsweek.com/id/135166?GT1=43002


I also found a great article that talks about how all that airbrushing affects all of us who see those images. Here's an excerpt I found pretty interesting:


    "But here's the rub: thanks to technology, often not even the models themselves can compare to their portfolios. Increasingly, photos for print are enhanced and perfected to an astonishing degree. Not only are moles, acne and subtle facial hair erased from already pretty faces, but retouchers are routinely asked by editors and advertisers to enlarge eyes, trim normal-size ears, fill in hairlines, straighten teeth and lengthen the already-narrow necks, waists and legs of 18-year-old beauties. "We're always stretching the models' legs and slimming their thighs," says a photo retoucher who works for a high-end Manhattan agency. In some cases, hands, feet or even legs are replaced in photos when the subject's parts don't add up to a perfect whole. "Sometimes I feel a little like Frankenstein," says the retoucher, who would only speak anonymously because of the potential for professional backlash. The irony, she adds, is that the models and actresses pictured have usually have already been through hours of hair styling and makeup--including body makeup--to remove the slightest blemish. Yes, you heard that right, even after all of that, a 5-foot-10, 110-pound model still does not have legs that are long or skinny enough to suit some advertisers and fashion editrixes."

Read the whole article at http://www.newsweek.com/id/113689?tid=relatedcl

Kinda makes you wonder what all those people you see in the mags and on TV REALLY look like, huh?

Have a special event coming up that you want to look great for? Wanna boost your confidence just a little bit while you're there, too?

Find a pretty dress, or a cute little top, in your favorite color. You'll feel an instant lift when you look in the mirror before you head out--and you'll feel a little brighter once you get there, too. You'll feel a little more confident, and you'll probably have lot more fun, too!

So what's YOUR favorite color? Go on and show it off a little!

My Website

Health & Body Image Message Board

Well, I'm really REALLY excited to "officially" announce my co-author--Carolyn Costin!!! She herself has been recovered from anorexia for over 20 years, and now is a therapist and founder of Monte Nido treatment center and its affiliates. She's the author of books such as The Eating Disorder Sourcebook, 100 Questions & Answers About Eating Disorders, and Your Dieting Daughter--you can get the scoop on her and all the ZILLIONS of things she does at her website, http://www.carolyncostin.com.

Now who WOULDN'T be thrilled to have someone like her at their side??

My Website

Health & Body Image Message Board

The book I'm working on will be a wonderful source of advice for those of you with disordered eating and image problems--it will include both personal insight and contributions from other, real women in recovery, as well as helpful thoughts from my professional co-author.

I am being represented by Kate Epstein of the Epstein Literary Agency (http://www.epsteinliterary.com).

Check out my website, www.RealFemalesUnite.com, for more information about the project and how YOU still have the chance to be a part of it!!!

And as always, don't forget to check out the health and body image message board at http://www.realfemales.proboards54.com; I've just added a fun, weekly "Random Question" thread to help us all get to know each other better--what do YOU have to say??

Well, here it is everyone--my new blog! I'll try to keep everyone up-to-date on everything that's going on with the disordered eating recovery book I'm working on here, as well as share a few helpful tips on how YOU can learn to ditch your diet and find YOURSELF!!!

Make sure you check out my website at www.RealFemalesUnite.com, and get in on the action at the health & body image message board I've created at www.realfemales.proboards54.com--I know you'll always be able to find a few great tips on there to help you through your own process of self-acceptance and growth.

May all your dreams and wishes come true!!

Justine